Whispered Rants from the Tuttle-Tuttle Tree

Random thoughts, rantings, and musings. Displayed for all to see, because sometimes it's saner to rant to random strangers than to rant to yourself. Also, the voices in my head don't always appreciate it when I talk back to them. Go figure.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Cranky muse...

Gotterdammerung

I'll help you fight your demons
Just don't make me one of them
I'll help you wipe your tears
Just don't make me the cause of them
I'll help you ban your ghosts
Just don't ban me too
I'll help you reach your star
Just don't blanket the moon
I'll be there to lean on, to listen,
to encourage, to help you in your battle
Just don't forget me
Once your war has been won


Life is Funny

It takes streams of words
To get us moving,
But only one
To gorgonize us.

It’s things that should not hurt us
That always make us bleed.

It’s the fear of loss
That makes us hold on tight
Yet it’s holding on tight
That smothers and kills
and causes us to lose

It’s the feathered touches
That cut like a thorn.

It’s the random acts
From unexpected places
That we see and take note of,
Not the ones given freely
On a daily basis
By those who love us.

It’s the silent, waiting hug
That makes us spill our hearts.

It’s the ones who see
Everyone else’s worth
Who have the hardest time
Seeing their own.

It’s only when we stand still
That we can see and choose
The path before us.

It’s putting blinders on,
And running as fast as we can
That makes us run in circles.

It’s the kick from behind
That makes us see
What is in front.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

*phew!*

That pretty much sums it up. *phew!* (it was worth saying again. ;p ) Migraine is gone, school supplies have been bought, dispersed and delivered, In-laws are on their way back to Michigan, kids are off to their first day of school and the house is...-wait a minute..*runs and turns tv off, gives the dogs each a chew-snack on my way back in*..there..-and the house is QUIET. For the first time in weeks...months?! And it's all mine for another almost 2 hours! Wheeee! *puts blinders on for those two hours so she can't see any of the clutter left by the departure tornado this morning* Nothing that can't wait till later today or even till tomorrow. The ONLY damper on this morning was a call from school nurse and the discovery that if we hadn't gotten into the doctor's office yesterday (we were on a waiting list to get in for crying out sakes) then the little one would have had to wait a week or more to start kindergarden. He would have been DEVASTATED. As is she still almost had me come pick him up and was appalled that I'd brought him without handing her his file first. (still waiting on the doc back in Michigan to fax his shot records) But all is well :) Things worked out. SO SO so so so SO Glad we managed to get in yesterday. YEESH. Anyway, yes, I'm rambling, the house is quiet and I'm giddy. You're all just gonna have to deal with me today. *wink* *hugs*

Monday, August 07, 2006

Side Effects

Life is full of cause and effect. So many are obvious, and we can't help but see them, notice them, learn from them. But what about the ones that are less noticeable? The one's we either don't notice at all, or simply brush off as nothing before we can make a full connection. How many lessons are we missing? How much grief would we save ourselves if we simply stopped and paid attention. How many small happinesses are we missing because we don't know how to repeat them?

This is something that's been on my mind lately, and I've been trying to pay extra attention to what I'm doing, what others are doing, and what is happening around me. Thought I'd list a few.

*The side effect of not being careful of what you watch on TLC late at night? Dreaming really weird two nights later. (Ya, I thought I was out of the woods when that first night was normal...I was wrong )

*The side effect of getting a full night's sleep, yet dreaming all night long that you have an inoperable tumor? Waking up feeling like a zombie. A state which no amount of coffee or net-surfing is able to cure.

*The side effect of putting the puppy to bed early, then being too tired to remember just how early you sent him to bed and neglecting to send him on a last trip outside before you go to bed? You may have a quiet evening, but the next morning you wake to the desperate yaps of a pup who wasn't able to make the whole night. You wake to using two entire rolls of paper towel on a kitchen floor that has been flooded, jumped in, rolled in, bounced off the cabinets.....it's not pretty.

*The side effect of your puppy having a pee party in your kitchen? Your nose gets assailed with the aroma of pee, vinegar, and mopping fluid by turns at 7:30 am.

*The side effect of the pee party happening on the same morning as the zombie morning? Enter the NUMB zombie girl, hugging her empty coffee mug and staring off at nothing for a few hours.

*The side effect of your hubby petting and scratching your back like you're an aggitated kitty cat, until you drift off for a nap? You fall asleep purring and feeling loved, and wake up two hours later feeling good and connected to the rest of the planet again.

*The side effect of feeling loved and connected to your world? You feel like making someone else's day great.

*The side effect of giving your kids choices, when you're sure of their answer? You are always getting surprised. Should be impossible by now, since they are always deciding opposite of what you think they will, but apparently it's not. ('Sure things' are a myth, people!)

*The side effect of moving to the oppposite side of a new time zone? Your child, who likes to wake at the crack of dawn, no longer gets up with the sun at 6:30/7:00. Now he gets up with the sun at 5:3-0/6:00.

*The side effect of your youngest offspring overhearing you and your spouse converse about how disturbing and wrong it is for the latest kiddie movie to have MALE 'cows' with UDDERS? He flatly refuses to go see said movie two weeks later on the grounds that 'those cows are too weird', and instead wants to see a movie about a kid getting shrunk and living in a colony of ants.

*The side effect of sitting and staring at your computer screen and checking your messages obsessively? Nothing. Doesn't make anyone respond any faster. A sore butt maybe?

*The side effect of playing amateur counselor to a close friend or relative? You stop and realize just how much of your own wonderful advice you haven't been taking.

*The side effect of taking some of your own advice? You discover it works for you too, and you start trying to pay better attention.

*The side effect of paying better attention? You end up with lists like this one. You also end up happier.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Muahahahaha

*filled with frustration at how ineffectual all the "NO!'s" and thwaps on the nose have been in deterring the puppy from gnawing on shoes and the carpetted stair...she goes and douses said items with Tea Tree oil*



Just let him get a mouthful of THAT, the lil demon!!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Random thoughts

It appears that, once again, I should have kept my trap shut. Murphey just keeps too close tabs on me, and I should have known better. I've always been rather accident prone. I've managed to avoid any known broken bones, as well as any stitches other than those related to surgery. But I am generally known for having a good sized goose egg on my head or a plethora of bruises on my legs that I don't remember the sources of. ...etc. Well, since we moved to our new location, I've been remarkably accident-free. We've been here nearly 7 months and, aside from my new stragne inability to get through a doorway without hitting my arm, I've been pretty non-injured. The problem? Well, I had to go and mention this observation out loud. And I've been paying the piper ever since. Tripping over the doggie gate (apparently I CAN'T fly over it), getting my lip split after a head butt from the puppy, ...getting a whole bit all the way through my thumb...by the puppy...hmmm...k. I'm noticing a trend here. Anyone want a new puppy? Barely used... j/k :p *slaps hands away* He's MINE, you can't have him!

Speaking of dogs...I had a few thoughts there the other day. Particularly with regards to the pros and cons to having a smart dog vs one that's a few squeaks short of a full chew toy. I've had both. For example...
* A dim-witted dog takes a lil longer to train, but they tend to stay trained..for good or ill. A smart dog trains really rather quickly...but then they start training you. No matter what system you set up, they quickly learn how to manipulate it.
* A dim dog will adore you always, no matter what. A smart dog will love you no matter what too...but if you piss them off...or even just mildy irritate them...they'll get back at you. They are masters at revenge.
* A dim dog might chew your shoes or that book you left laying out, but a smart dog knows how to pick out your favorite pair...the truly evil mastermind dog picks one each of several pairs and chews 'just enough'.

*Hears a kids scream in the other room...and it's echo from the other kid...checks calender* 19 days till school starts again! ...YES I'm starting the countdown already! You wanna know why kids and puppies are so darn cute? It keeps you from eating them!

Hmmm...I'm feeling a bit peckish...'scuse me while I go scrounge up some lunch. *hugs*

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Wallowing in laziness..and other stuff

So I've done it. Some of you thought I couldn't. But I did. I spent 3 straight days wallowing in laziness. Aside from the very basic keeping the kids and dogs fed/watered/pottied...I did nothing! Ok ok I shampooed the carpet one day (comes clean before Nyxanu can rat her out) and emptied/refilled the dishwasher..but other than that...nada! I read, I sat, I surfed online...gotta say it felt really really good. I didn't even start going stir crazy 12 hours in like I normally would. So I'm thinking this was something I really needed. Between company, the hubby's business trips, family travel, science and art camps for the kids, and the new puppy...with very little breathing room in between...it's been a crazy couple of months. One very important thing this 'time off' did for me was help me regain a calm and patience with the kids that I'd feared I'd lost for good. It's great to have that back.

The Puppy : things are going moderately well. Our house has become an obstacle course of gates, real and makeshift, moveable and stationary. Makes things interesting when you need to get somewhere in a hurry (*glances down at her puffy and discolored ankle and shakes her head ruefully*) A few 'up' things = the smallest kiddo is finally warming up to the pup, isn't quite as scared of him as he was. Has even begun to play with him...cautiously. And both boys have finally begun closing the door when they use the restroom. They apparently don't appreciate the puppy's attentions when they're in there *laughs in twisted amusement*.

Also our oldest pooch has finally decided to eat again. He went on a hunger strike the second he got a nibble of the puppy's food, discovered how much better it tasted than his own (he has the weight management senior food) and then was forbidden it. He was outraged, and to show us who's boss, he decided he wasn't going to eat at all. Well, unless we held it in our hand...a nibble at a time. Spoiled brat. He also noticed the puppy was getting a treat every time he went outside...so he started waiting at the door, while the little one was out, then as we'd come in, he'd walk out the door, and right back in...he technically went outside, he should get a treat too, right? yep...a smart brat. (being the human I am, I started giving him his own dog food as his 'treat' ;p ) As of this morning, though, he's officially had two full meals that coincided with the pup's. He didn't turn his nose up, huff and walk away. He actually ate. So we're making progress.
Aside from making a few stickers and a bit of blogging, I've done little or no writing/painting/photo-shopping in the last month-plus.(Officially got the itch now though, so stay tuned) But I DID get a ton of reading done. Which I haven't done a lot of lately. Felt really good. And I had a perfect assortment awaiting me too, so I was able to decide if I wanted a 'feast', 'picnic' or 'dessert'. Happy to say I devoured all three. :) What do I mean by these definitions?

Well...There are some books that have so much depth and so many varied layers to them, they are like a several course meal. They pull you into their world, and give you so much to take in, from every angle, you feel like you can gorge yourself on them. They have adventure, intrigue, love, laughter, tears, texture, they make you think, and they entertain. All in one. And they're usually pretty long. These I consider a 'feast'.

Then there are those that are a fast read, they're entertaining, not particularly deep..they're that 'guilty pleasure' fluff read. They're like that piece of cherry cheesecake...yummy...they're gone in a hurry, so there's always the temptation to grab another slice...but there's really only so much cheesecake you can eat in a row before you're sick of it. These 'dessert' variety are perfect for giving your brain a break in between those feasts. They also don't take as long to get through, so your house doesn't get as neglected.

Then, of course, there are those that fall somewhere in between. They're mid length, flow nicely, are a nice little escape, have a little meat to em, but don't bog you down. They're easier to set down when you have other stuff you need to do, and easier to pick up again when you get interupted for an extended length of time. Everything a good picnic should be. Of the books I just finished? I'd definitely label Danse Macabre as a dessert, Time Traveler's Wife as a picnic, and Kushiel's Scion as a feast.

ok..book ramble over..for now. ;)

Other news? As of last weekend I'm an aunt again. :) Hehe, my three siblings have made me an aunt seven times in a little under 4 years. I now have 6 nieces and 1 nephew (on my side). All of em beautiful. (I'm not biased at all) And all of them live far too far away. *wistful sigh*

And I'm learning that no matter how hard I stare at all your avi icons...it doesn't make your pages update any faster. :P Go figure.

...That is all.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm back!

I'm home from my little vacate to another state. Spent a week with my sis and her lil family. It was some much needed 'time away'. A few thoughts and tidbits about my week...

~The best-laid plans...not a single day went by that happened as it was planned. Not that it was actually planned for more than an hour or few. We basically woke each morning got a general idea of what that day should look like then carried on. The day always ended with stripes instead of polka-dots or blue instead of green. However they all still ended up very pleasant and I wouldnt have traded any one of them.

~ Sushi. :)

~ My plane that I flew home on was hit by lightning about 5 minutes after we got into the air. THAT was exciting... :P Huge pop a flare of light in the aisle right by my seat = everone in a ten seat radius staring at each other with great big 'oh shit' looks on their faces. The turbulence didnt help. Pretty sure God got a sudden earful around then.

~ I met several people this trip. ..Ok 6 (1 I knew already but had never seen outside the computer screen and then 5 new meats..I mean people), but compared to the normal 'none' that I usually meet when I go to see her, it seemed like a lot. Had a fantastic time with all. Made some great memories.

~Am always amazed and amused at how shocking it is to meet someone for the first time that you've known online. No matter how many pictures you exchange and whatnot, that first 3D meeting hits ya between the eyes. And I'm not saying this in a bad way by any means. (ie. you show up and they have purple and green horns growing out of their skull...a lil shocking) It's simply trying to match everything you've known and seen with the real life, walking, talking creature in front of you. Along with that is the surety that they are experiencing the same shock where you're concerned and the terror that the shock will be too much for em and they'll run screaming. Makes you a big pile of nerves and you find yourself saying stupid things like 'You're taller in real life than you are on my computer'. Eventually one or both of you says or does something that is so familiar that it all clicks into place and you just smile and think 'it's YOU! there was this other person standing in your spot a minute ago, but there you are! ...hi!'

~It's been confirmed that flirting is in my genetic make up. Those who've truly met me probably already knew this fact to be true. Those who haven't or still doubt, let me offer exhibit A: My sis. And that's not our only common trait. We're terrible. Especially if you have us in the same room together. Those who HAVE experienced us in the same room for any length of time seem to be either very amused or very afraid. Usually both. Our poor husbands. They get messed with...a lot.

~That being said, we've both been noticing more and more lately that while our tastes in some things are very very similar...the places where we differ? Extreme. It reminds me of my two boys. They are like two sides of the same coin. In almost all things they are either identical or they are polar opposites. Very little in-between. My sis and I are the same way. We knew many of our differenced growing up. They were constantly pointed out to us. It wasn't until we were grown that we discovered all our similarities and were able to become friends. It wasn't until recently that we've been seeing both sides at the same time. I think we both suddenly have this running list in our heads of how we're different...but it's one I dont think we'll ever share with each other. So much safer and more comfortable to concentrate on the commonalities...

~ I got to spoil my niece and nephew rotten while I was there. *grin* In my completely unbiased opinion they are a couple of cuties. *wink* It's fun because they are approaching that age of making memories that they'll remember clearly when they are much older. I remember what a huge deal certain things were to me, growing up. Whether it was someone playing with my hair, or buying that trinket, or tossing me upside down, or teaching me soemthing new...all those little moments where the world slows down and you're the center of someone's universe for a few seconds. Those little moments that made you feel important and loved. Those feelings you're supposed to have all the time but that get lost in the every day hustle and bustle and doubt. Those moments are the ones that make a child skip and twirl and laugh deep in their belly. They take so little effort, and they make such a huge difference. And gives me an incredible thrill every time I get to create one of those moments with one of my siblings' offspring. I want to be that sweet-smelling aunt that always has gum in her purse and gives the best hugs.

~Speaking of hugs, being gone for a week sure gets you some nice ones from the hubby and kids when you get back. And I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that they subsisted on spaghetti and pizza the entire time I was gone, or that they had to do dishes and pick up after themselves. *wink* I am pretty impressed and proud of the hubby for the job he did holding down the fort while I was gone though. (He had his folks in town to help, but that also comes with it's own level of stress. Which he survived.) Everyone was fed and had semi normal bedtimes, dishes were done, he made the kids change their clothes once in awhile, and he took them out around town to do fun stuff so they weren't couped up in the house all week. Of course this means that I also got a very gratifiing "your job is hard!" when I got off the plane. *grins* That little bit of acknowledgement is nice to hear now and then.

~ Getting away for a week helped in other areas too. I'm able to think about getting that puppy the boys are begging for now and smile about it. I think we'll be hunting for that new family member later tonight. Wish us luck.

I think that about does it for now. If I come up with anything else later, I'll post again. For now, let me leave you with the moral of my story...it's a moral to live by people...

"That small pile of 3 cards is NOT worth getting your hand smashed into the table by three airforce guys and a sister, all of which are half-baked and out for blood. You gotta wait till there are at least 5 cards out there."