Whispered Rants from the Tuttle-Tuttle Tree

Random thoughts, rantings, and musings. Displayed for all to see, because sometimes it's saner to rant to random strangers than to rant to yourself. Also, the voices in my head don't always appreciate it when I talk back to them. Go figure.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Life is Laughable

Current mood: infuriated

So you've all heard me rant and rave about the drivers on our main road constantly cutting me off. This is a several times a day thing.

Well today I got some info that sent me into a raging ball of venom. And what with having to leave in a few short minutes to take the lil kiddo to school, I had no time to do anything about it. Which had me in a Clint Eastwood mood while I was driving. I was DARING people to cut me off...cuz I was honestly debating whether or not I'd break for em. I was having fantasies about driving up their bumpers.

Do you think even one solitary person jumped in front of me??? NO. They were all sitting there. There were at LEAST 3 cars waiting and primed for such a maneuver...but no.

What was it? It's not like they could see the fire coming out of my eyes, as I had sunglasses on. And it's not like I was foaming at the mouth. ...pretty sure I wasn't... So how did they know??

*Resorts to finding and playing some angry music while muttering and spewing things my kids shouldnt hear till they're 63.*

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Enjoying a still moment...

Nothing big to report lately. Been blessedly quiet around here. Despite the hubby's business trip. (he gets home tonight, yay!). Things will be hopping beginning tomorrow. The kids' last day of school. Can't believe it's here already! Then we have company coming into town Friday for a day/night, different company coming into town Saturday for a week-ish. Still not sure if we'll make it t MI at the beginning of June or not. Then later in June my trip to DE (yippee!) :) So..ya...not much to say now, but will be tons to rant about...I mean..joyous tales to relate to you all in a week or two. In the mean time, a few kid quotes I was...graced with...over this past week or two.

Kiddo 1: (after overhearing that I was feeling a little nauseous one morning) "Mom, does that mean you're going to breed again?"
(...ya..that was my reaction too...:p )

Kiddo 1: "ooooooh!! Why do I always have to put my shoes on??!!"

Kiddo 2: "Mom, my heart is loving you."

Kiddo 2: "Mom, do YOU have 10 fingers too??" (yes.) "Do daddy and Stan too??" (um..yes? lol.)

Kiddo 2: "Meet the butt!" (then he pointed it at me...*sigh* ..*swat*)

Ya..kids are entertaining. Gimme 50 (no, not all born/raised by me dear dog)....and a padded room....and we'd have either the most successful circus act on the planet, or the greatest add for birthcontrol ever. ...Would probably depend on what they ate/drank for breakfast that morning.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

For mom's...

A mom on the HPN yahoo list I'm on passed this along to us. After the week I've had, especially, it was really, really nice to read/hear/think about. I thought I'd pass it along in case someone else needs it today too.


WHY THIS MOTHER WILL NEVER WALK ALONE. By: ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicap children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew."

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious, "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicap child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods, "If she can't separate herself from her child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I know what I want for Christmas (too bad it'll get Santa and I both arrested)

Current mood: annoyed

I know it's a little early to think about Christmas, but this would be sooo worth the wait. Heck I'd wait several Christmases for it if it was actually possible to get one without getting arrested and whatnot. This is what I want. A paintball gun built into my front bumper with a dashboard/steering wheel trigger. What would I do with this beauty? Paintball blast the rear end of every moron that cuts in front of me!

This has gotten to be an insanely frequent occurance. There are days (more often than not) where I don't even make it up to the speed limit for the amount of breaking I have to do because some idiots decide they need to dash out in front of me and then hit their brakes!
I'd blame it on the mini van, (ie. maybe they see mini van and assume I'm putsing along) but I truly can't. 1.) I've gotten cut off more times in a week here than I used to in a year back in MI. 2.) The mini van is the icon car of a 'soccer mom'. Anyone who actually knows a 'soccer mom', knows that they spend so much time scrambling from one place to another with the kids, that they aren't putsing around, they're lead-footin it.

I'd blame it on Missouri drivers in general, but I can't really do that either. This oddity only seems to occur on one street. Albeit the longest/busiest street in the area. Which jsut makes it even more baffling. People who, by all observances, seem to know how to drive on any other road, lose their bleedin minds when they get to Manchester.

Logic would dictate that if you are pulling out in front of someone, you would try to get up to speed as soon as you could so as not to cause a disturbance in the flow of traffic. Logic would dictate that if there are two lanes of traffic moving at the same rate of speed, your shifting from one to the other should be an easy thing, consisting of you maintaining your current speed, so that it does not distrupt the flow of traffic.

So why, WHY, why why why why....do people throw ALL LOGIC out their trunks and BREAK under these circumstances???

I just don't get it.

So that is why I want a paint gun built into my front bumper. It wont stop them, I know. But son of a booger...the laughs I would have...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Either God has a really sick sense of humor...

Or he really does think I'm cut out for this job as Mom to my boys. I'm suspecting the first, but praying for the latter as there are definitely days when I don't think I'm cut out for it. ...Like today... *sighs, mutters, and sits back to await a call from the vice principal*

Monday, May 08, 2006

This, That, and Wow

Those crazy crazy hermit crabs. So, Friday I cleared out the boys' bathroom so I could paint and recalk and whatnot. Did my usual check of the hermit crabs while I was moving their home. They'd hidden themselves for a while, so I was pleased to see they'd resurfaced. Then I looked closer. Apparently they'd only resurfaced to die. :( One was out of his shell and, well, toast. The other was hiding out in their little log half out of his shell, and a small poke declared him toast as well. Bummer on a rock. I was focused on other things however (redoing the bathroom) and so set them aside to deal with them later. Forgot about them Saturday other than to break the news to the kids finally.

So Sunday I finally go to clean stuff out, reach in and extract the one out of the corner. Then I go to get the other one... he's dragging himself to the food dish! What the heck?? Resurrection of the crab! He almost spent his last days in a garbage bag full of wet paint and ancient calking strips. Then I remembered. This would be the same crab who sent me scrambling through a 50 year old shell collection because he had to have a new home NOW. Only to return to his old home 3 days later. And now he's playing dead on me. Ya. He thinks he's funny, he thinks he's a prankster, he likes messing with me. I almost threw him in the garbage bag anyway...just for my own laughs. But I didn't. So how does this little guy repay me? As I was walking away I caught him trying to switch his shell with the one who'd just died. Ya. I caught him trying to pull an identity switch on me. Lil troublemaker.

On a completely different note, husband came home from yet another business trip yesterday. (yay) several days home alone with the kids makes Anna go a little (read: big time) crazy. So, at the first opportunity I ran out with a friend and we went touring the local nurseries in the area looking at plant life. Couple of em were alright. One of them though was pretty awesome. I will DEFinitely be going back. They had every herb I've heard of and then some. So I'm finally going to have my herb garden! :) Had a lot of other fun stuff too. Got a few things for the front yard and will be going back to get a couple fun things for my office. It was a day that definitely went far towards helping me maintain my zen.

Finally, 'the wow'...Been married for 14 years today. Can you believe it? Ya, me either. Would I do it over? You bet. ...though I might have put a clause in about socks somewhere in the I Do's. ...and maybe a toilet seat clause too. Ya..thatta been good. ;)

In all seriousness though, I have a good good life. Thanks hon.

Friday, May 05, 2006

poem: Exposed

Exposed

You've broken through,
my walls have crumbled.
I stand laid bare
with nothing but a rock,
the size of my hand,
and my hair
to hide behind.
You're still standing on the threshold,
battering ram tossed aside,
neither entering
nor walking away.
My eyes dart around
as I cling to this small piece of wall
clutched in my hand,
trembling.
A hand twitches at your side
as though to reach for me,
but does not.
And I know not
whether to run to you
or to bury myself
amongst the rubble...

Thursday, May 04, 2006

poem : Broken Walls

Broken Walls

circles, pyramids and a razor’s edge
spin and topple and slice
turning up and upside left
the rain comes down
and I come undone

sweet scent deliver me
tell me a tale
tell me a lie
tell me I am never forgotten
tell me there’s no reason to cry

stand on my foot
and tell me to run
turn the world sideways
and tell me it’s straight

my ears hear only your voice
and I have chosen to be blind

sweet sound deliver me
tell me a lie
tell me a tale
tell me of the one who’s forgotten
tell me there’s still wind in the sky

the sun comes up
and I’m still undone
turning down and downside right
spin and stumble and dance
in circles, on pyramids, on a razor’s edge