Whispered Rants from the Tuttle-Tuttle Tree

Random thoughts, rantings, and musings. Displayed for all to see, because sometimes it's saner to rant to random strangers than to rant to yourself. Also, the voices in my head don't always appreciate it when I talk back to them. Go figure.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I know what I want for Christmas (too bad it'll get Santa and I both arrested)

Current mood: annoyed

I know it's a little early to think about Christmas, but this would be sooo worth the wait. Heck I'd wait several Christmases for it if it was actually possible to get one without getting arrested and whatnot. This is what I want. A paintball gun built into my front bumper with a dashboard/steering wheel trigger. What would I do with this beauty? Paintball blast the rear end of every moron that cuts in front of me!

This has gotten to be an insanely frequent occurance. There are days (more often than not) where I don't even make it up to the speed limit for the amount of breaking I have to do because some idiots decide they need to dash out in front of me and then hit their brakes!
I'd blame it on the mini van, (ie. maybe they see mini van and assume I'm putsing along) but I truly can't. 1.) I've gotten cut off more times in a week here than I used to in a year back in MI. 2.) The mini van is the icon car of a 'soccer mom'. Anyone who actually knows a 'soccer mom', knows that they spend so much time scrambling from one place to another with the kids, that they aren't putsing around, they're lead-footin it.

I'd blame it on Missouri drivers in general, but I can't really do that either. This oddity only seems to occur on one street. Albeit the longest/busiest street in the area. Which jsut makes it even more baffling. People who, by all observances, seem to know how to drive on any other road, lose their bleedin minds when they get to Manchester.

Logic would dictate that if you are pulling out in front of someone, you would try to get up to speed as soon as you could so as not to cause a disturbance in the flow of traffic. Logic would dictate that if there are two lanes of traffic moving at the same rate of speed, your shifting from one to the other should be an easy thing, consisting of you maintaining your current speed, so that it does not distrupt the flow of traffic.

So why, WHY, why why why why....do people throw ALL LOGIC out their trunks and BREAK under these circumstances???

I just don't get it.

So that is why I want a paint gun built into my front bumper. It wont stop them, I know. But son of a booger...the laughs I would have...

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